I was huge!
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Anyone who knows me well, or probably even just a little bit, knows that by the 5th month of my pregnancy I was very hypersensitive to people's comments at how big I was and how big my baby was going to be. I tried to let it go and not let it bother me but I couldn't help but take it as an affront to my ability to have a healthy baby. People around me were commenting on how much they had gained and over gained in their pregnancies and I couldn't help the need to justify myself every time someone commented on my girth.
Anyone who knows me well, or probably even just a little bit, knows that by the 5th month of my pregnancy I was very hypersensitive to people's comments at how big I was and how big my baby was going to be. I tried to let it go and not let it bother me but I couldn't help but take it as an affront to my ability to have a healthy baby. People around me were commenting on how much they had gained and over gained in their pregnancies and I couldn't help the need to justify myself every time someone commented on my girth.
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I did a fantastic job of gaining weight, meaning, I gained exactly as much as I was supposed to. They say on average you should gain 25 to 35 pounds. I entered the hospital at 32 lbs. I also didn't carry high or low, but straight out in front. I felt judged. I felt like my baby was being judged and he didn't even get to prove himself yet. Even when the baby had dropped in my abdomen so low that my doctor was concerned he might come out faster than I could make it the 10 blocks to the hospital, from my work, coworkers were commenting on how they didn't think he had dropped enough.
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Come to think of it, a couple weeks before I had Padon I passed, at the Bus Transit Center, some strange man who took one look at me and said "Hhheeeeyyyyy!" (Like Wanda from In Living Color; for those of you old enough to remember the TV show) "Hang in there girl!" I have no idea what face I was making as I weeble-wobbled myself through the station on my way to work, but I hadn't realized that I was exuding my tiredness and achiness.
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So now that Padon has been born a small (to me), 7 lbs 2 oz, and two months later I have just about lost all of my pregnancy weight I look back at the pictures and see, well yes, I was rather large. In some pictures I do look down right huge. I can tell you now, though, that were I to get pregnant again I think I may be as sensitive again. I know that I shouldn't be but I can't get over people's audacity to comment on weight and looks when otherwise it would be culturally unacceptable.
All fairness to Walter, in this picture, he is being silly and making himself look pregnant.
I love him!
1 comment:
You can just tell by the look on Walter's face that he is being silly. :D
I think you still looked beautiful, and it's nobody's business to tell you how you are doing. Everybody's different.
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