Cain Was Given The Gift of Immortality?

In the cafeteria at work there is a share all book library where the week before last I picked up a book called The Book of Lies by Brad Meltzer. The book was based on the story of Cain and Abel, and how Cain killed Abel with a murder weapon that was never described, leaving philosophers and historians to make assumptions and guesses about the true meaning of the hebrew translation of the word "weapon" and in the end translating into texts that the weapon was a rock or tool. It is also implied that God was really angry at Cain for killing Abel and in punishment sent him to wander aimlessly in the desert for the rest of his life; ostracized.

If you want to read the book don't read the spoiler below:

Well through this book, and there wasn't a dull moment about it, the characters go on a treasure hunt for what is supposed to be the actual weapon used by Cain; it having been cared for and hidden very carefully. Through the hunt revelations are made about the "weapon" and it comes to light that it was most likely a book owned by Adam, Cain wanted it, and because Cain lived before paper was invented the book was most likely an item with some sort of writing on it, like a bone, which in turn would make a good weapon. This book was given to Cain, after the murder, by God and not as a punishment but as a reminder of what he did; that what he did was wrong but that God forgave him his mistake. It is deduced by the main characters that the book wasn't a book of lies but translated as "The Book of Truth". It is also pointed out that Cain is one of the few people in the Bible whose death isn't noted (no timeline) implying that after being sent away by God he lived forever, wandering, and so potentially the found weapon would hold instructions on what to do to obtain immortality.

In the end of the book it is found that the weapon is a horn and on the horn are carved characters that like many historical items from that time period were meant to be rolled into clay, or inked and rolled onto a skin, to leave a complete impression or image. And when inked and rolled the impression left by the horn is described as "rudimentary, with poor, crude dimensions - but there's no mistaking the image of a young child sitting on his parent's lap, his father's lap - as the man whispers something in his ear. A story. A father telling his child a story. The way the father leans in close...the way the boy dips his head downward, like he's relishing every detail." The main character comes to the conclusion that "Roosevelt was right. It is a birth right - mark - a sign - the ultimate remembrance - a "book" that Adam created to pass all earthly knowledge. The instructions (to immortality) are to tell your story. The one true way to live forever." The main character then goes on to sum it up for himself: "There's the life you live and the life you leave behind. But what you share with someone else - especially someone you love - that's not just how you bury your past. It's how you write your future."

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I found this fascinating as I had just finished having a couple conversations with some co-workers about how as a parent and once a child you develop your own family values and pass them onto your children who in turn develop their own family values and pass them on to their children, and so on, and so on. And that I keep a blog as a sodu baby book for my kids that really is my legacy as to what kind of person I am. I hope in my heart that my children will read it some day and that they will have fond memories of their mother and relish some of the insight and funny stories. I hope I get to hear what they do and do not agree with and what they enjoyed the most. I think when you are young it is hard to see your parent as a person who has needs, wants, and desires, and I hope by this blog they get a deeper understanding of me, and not just one of a role model.

Hi! My Name is Chloe; I'm the Sr. Marketing Specialist for PACCAR Financial. I'm Pleased to Meet You

I started my new dream job the day after I was officially hired with PACCAR. I was officially a PACCAR employee Feb 09, 2004 and I started my new job Feb 10th, 2010. Wow!

For years I have been telling myself that it must be possible to work in an area that you love, if not like and I have run the four hour daily grind, trying to believe that if I continued to work hard, be professional to those that matter, and attempt to make myself known, that eventually it would pay off. Well low and behold only ten years later I'm finally there!

I told my boss in June, in my annual review, that I wanted to be in Marketing and that the creation of brochures and fliers and posters were a blast and that marketing was where I always wanted to be. I hoped that this declaration would lead some where but knowing also how many times I had been let down by PACCAR I didn't hold my breath. I guess the trick was to go on Maternity Leave, early, abandoning the President of PACCAR Financial to have to find a new admin. Because he worked his wonderful magic and made my dream position come true. How serendipitous that I would receive fortune cookies with fortunes in them, in September, foretelling the great news to come.

Finally the 4 hours of commuting is worth it and finally we have been given the financial break that Walter and I have been fantasizing about for years. We still live by our tight budget but we can breath. Oh, to once again have breathing room and have the ability to do nice things for others.

And best of all, no longer am I an administrative assistant. 4 years past when I thought I would no longer be an administrative assistant for PACCAR and 9 years since the letter of resignation I wrote to my boss at ARB AirLocker declaring admin'ing wasn't for me, I am a Sr. (senior!!!!) Marketing Specialist! Finally a name that I can be proud of. Oh this day took so long to come, but it did! It did! Persistence worked!

Look Out Zoo! Here We Come!

We have a Zoo Pass! Last year we had the Science Center Pass and this year we have a Zoo/ Aquarium Pass. I love the opportunity to take Padon (and now Sophia) out to learn things in the real world and I am excited for this summer and up coming year.

We made our first excursion in March, trying out our sweet double stroller and had a great time!


I was so pleased with the Zoo's Zoomuseam and it's nursing area where I joined another gal and stepped into another level of the "mommy club" to feed Sophia.
We got to see the new Penguin exhibit which Padon found a little scary because the water appeared to be over his head. But we left with him excited about the Pengins and that rocked.

Padon was hysterical in the Orangutan exhibit and sadly my camera died before the best of it. He very excitedly couldn't get over them, how they moved around and how they looked. And of course the bronze sculptures made for a perfect opportunity to stop and make "Devine" monkey lips.

So The Le Leche League Aren't Femme Nazis!

When I had Padon I tried breast feeding him when we were in the hospital and with the help of a lactition we seemed to move through the movements but once we left it went all down hill from there. He screamed and cried, pushing back against me, arching his back, and pushing back against my guiding hand with his neck muscles straining. I didn't like that breast feeding seemed mean and he didn't seem to like it and it was quickly a miserable experience for both of us. So I pumped exclusively and Walter and I fed Padon with a bottle.

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This time, with Sophia, I thought I would give it another try; not holding my breath. She quickly latched on and in different positions and it seemed like it might be easier this time. But because it was a relatively new experience for me I spent many a morning on the internet searching, as Sophia breastfed, subjects that I was pondering. And out of curiosity I googled the Le Leche League. I had been given the feeling that the Le Leche League of women were feminists to the extreme. They were the ones that picketed shopping malls for not letting women breastfeed barebreasted weren't they? Suprised I found instead a wonderfully easy to navigate website full of easy to find questions and answers and a search engine that pointed me to an answer to just about everyone of my questions. And not once was an answer one that made me feel like I should be someone other then I was. Instead I was validated and reassured and bordering on lesbianism with my love of these open hearted and understanding women.

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I discovered that:

I was a gal who just produced way too much milk and had an oversupply; a problem that hindered positive breastfeeding and made the experience difficult for the new baby and Mom. It then proceed to explain why it happens and what to do to correct it and there fore relieve the physical pain and discomfort related to it. No more stabbing darning needle feeling? Who knew?!

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and that

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Padon most likely had an oral aversion. A condition possibly caused by the "suctioning of the newborn's airway or stomach, naso- or orogastric feeding tubes, inappropriate use of artificial nipples and bottle-feeding methods, incorrect placement of fingers in the baby's mouth for finger feeding or suck assessment, and aggressive attempts to alter the baby's sucking pattern. Some of these interventions can be helpful as long as they are done gently and slowly, paying attention to the baby's cues." I felt elated and validated as a Mom who had felt like maybe she had given up too early. It was just such an unpleasent experience for both of us that it didn't seem worth the trouble and now I had a better way to describe what was probably going on.

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The only question I couldn't find was why pumping was such an uncomfortable process. And it wasn't just in pumping. Often times the same nauseous feeling I got when pumping I would get when I started nursing Sophia, causing me to have to stop eatting dinner for a moment and concentrate on the feeling at the back of my throat. Google helped me on this one. I wasn't alone and it sounded like some mom's might have it worse. From a forum on circleof moms.com I learned that the body releases a hormone at let down that causes some women to feel nauseous. They had recommendations on how to combat it but so far my only solution is to work through the first couple minutes of nausea until the hormone passes and I can better concentrate on my book. I had been so caught off guard by this feeling when I first pumped with Padon that I was angry, frustrated, and totally disenchanted with this whole idea of bonding by breast with my baby. This time round I knew I didn't like it and so mentally was more open to how I was feeling physically. I'm proud that I have made it 3 months so far with only a few thoughts of quiting, but I remember so clearly the tears and want to throw the machine across the room, and worst yet the bitterness I felt toward Walter for not having to be in my shoes and for pushing me to continue (of course in Padon's best interest).

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I enjoy breast feeding Sophia mostly for the flexibilty I have in doing so. I felt, as I walked about 7 blocks through Downtown Seattle, with Sophia in the maya sling, latched onto a covered breast, that I should have a bumpersticker or something from the Le Leche League welcoming me into their brethern (especially since I have accidentally fully exposed a breast publically about three times now). I also enjoy the ability to fall asleep, lying down, with her on the couch, nipple secure in her mouth at 2:00 in the morning. I'm going to try to stick it out for a year and if I do it will be largely due to the mental pats on the back I get from reviewing and re-reviewing their site.

Colic Again!? Oh My!

You know, there should be a clarification in the studies that note that 20% of babies have colic to say 20% of families with a child that has colic will have a 90% chance of their second child having colic. Maybe then I wouldn't have gotten my hopes up so high. I was really wishing Sophia wouldn't have to go through the pain of colic. How is it that a new born can go a couple weeks with an even more undeveloped stomach and not have screaming colic pains but two weeks after birth spontaneously start screaming in agony due to digestional issues?

This time round Sophia started with colic at 2am instead of Padon's acceptable 7pm. It was harder to be on the ball struggling with colici baby that early in the morning and so this time round we pulled out all the stops in trying to figure out how best we could help her. We gave Padon Mylacon like it was going out of style, and with Sophia we added Gripe water. Something I didn't learn about until about a year after Padon and happily it seemed to relieve some of the discomfort which made us feel better, but didn't make the pain go away. I then started researching the main food groups that potentially cause colic in babies and nixed dairy products, broccoli, tomatoes, citric fruits, cucumbers, and any other naturally gassy foods from my diet (just about all staples in our fridge and cupboard).

Going without dairy was a really hard adjustment because it is my very favorite food group. But after reading article after article about how the proteins and enzymes that make lactose intolerant people sick are the same proteins and enzymes that get into your breast milk and potentially cause colic I decided the mature and responsible thing would be to live lactose intolerant for Sophia. A week of no dairy (very hard) seemed to do the trick and just to test it I slipping some cheese into a sandwich. I was one guilty Mamma that night as Sophia screamed in agony (absolutely no exaggeration). I felt so bad for her and you could just tell it was beyond awful. I have resolved myself to no more dairy until she has hit her "actual age" of 6 weeks when I will test her again. Her actual age is based off her original birth date, January 26th, so she will be 6 weeks on March 10th. This hopefully will give Walter and I a clearer idea of whether her troubles are due to an under developed stomach or if she may truly be lactose intolerant. It seems amazing to me, the idea of going without cheese pizza and dairy ice cream for a whole year of breastfeeding and potentially, for Sophia, the rest of her life. And just to clarify, I do know about acidophiles milk, lactose pills, and soy products. As a person who has always been able to eat anything with a cast iron stomach, it is hard for me comprehend and to stomach. Ha! Had to throw that pun in there.

I also want to throw in this post that Sophia was a winter baby and Padon a early summer baby. There was a whole other factor adding to the screaming and crying that Sophia did and for her it wasn't the stereotypically 3 hour jaundice but off and on all day long. I believe it took me a week to discover one cold morning that both of us were MUCH happier if we were breastfeeding directly in front of a blowing space heater. It was such a duh! I just never had to deal with a newborn in the cold before (Padon lived in onsies). It didn't stop the crying but it definitely lessened it. The poor thing was not only dealing with stomach pains but she was cold! For the longest time I had been the only one in our family with "no blood" and I felt silly for not realizing that my little girl might have the same feeling. We had to strip her down to keep her awake for feedings but it didn't mean I couldn't blow a little warm on us. Sheesh!

Ursalmus 2010 - Sophia's 1st SCA Event

Sophia's first SCA event was Ursalmus. Funny enough had she been born on time we would have totally missed it but here we were a month later! I found Padon's first SCA outfit and it fit her perfectly, even the little cap (which for Padon had been too small). She even had little Ug boots but we couldn't keep them on her feet.I was glad we could go to Ursalmus because our friends Tim and Amy were going to be in town for the week and it seemed it might be the only chance we would get to see them. I was glad that we would get to see them, they could remeet Padon who they hadn't seen since he was 3 months old, and they could meet Sophia.

Leah (above) had offered to bring Ally's (below) old wool norse dress for Sophia and I accepted. Funny enough, the dress had been much, much larger, but Shane, Leah's hubby, had washed and dried it, and like lovely wool does, it felted and shrunk like there was no tomorrow. Happy for me, creating a perfect Sophia sized 10th century Norse style dress. Surprisingly it was still a little snug around the middle so later I washed it and stretched it over a large pickle jar restretching the fibers. Hopefully it will still fit at the next event. It made for the perfect medievel sleep sack because the skirt was so long. I plan on trimming it and maybe sewing a decorative trim, but with the shirt and pants I had made Padon, the dress looked so cute on Sophia.
She slept through the whole event, and Padon had a great time. Tim and Amy were happy to see us, and we them, and afterwards we all went over to another friends house for a welcome back party. We didn't get home until 2am! Which was rough because the next day we had to get up much earlier then we felt we could for Billy's birthday party, a party we didn't want to miss. What cracked me up was we were able to get Padon out of bed, but the minute he hit ours, as Walter and I continued to get things together, he was sound asleep. I thought the kids were so cute and such a great picture of what a great time we had, had.

First Bath - Awwwww, Cute!

I love when babies fit in sinks!
Well, you might count Sophia's first real bath the shower she took with me about two weeks after she came home from the hospital, but I'd like to count her first true bath about a week later with Padon. They both needed it, especially Padon, and I asked him if he wanted to take a bath with Sophia. He was all over it and a help as I asked him to pull the foam baby pad out from under the sink. I then went into great detail about why Sophia needed this special foam pad and he was facinated and very caring as I tried to emphasis how fragile she was in the tub and how we had to take care of her. I was afraid he might try to share a bath toy with her in an accidentally aggressive manner. Instead he really enjoyed having a bath with her, kept to his end of the tub, and overall it was a really good time.
Sophia seems to love the water (ignore face above) and since then have had at least three more baths together. It just seems so sweet and I love how much they enjoy each other's company.

Snuggling With Daddy

I feel such a maternal need to take care of my children and love them and keep them safe and provide the best for them. So when I can see them getting the same comfort from Walter, especially since he is their main caregiver, I get such warm gushy love for my whole family.

The Thing About the Second Kid...

I'm surprised at how much I had forgotten about babies. Some how I walked away with a romantic idea that as long as you solved the major issues: hunger, diaper, sleep, that you would overall have a happy baby but it isn't that easy. I had forgotten about the need to be help after eatting that might still include crying or grumbles for unknown reasons. I have found myself going "ooooohhhhhh, yeah, I remember this....uh, not again." It's a good things babies are cute, and smell nice, and that their heads feel so soft against your cheek and lips :).

Padon the Terrible!

I love Padon very much but he was down right awful the first two weeks home from the hospital. I was grateful the whole time that he wasn't mean to Sophia. But to us he hit, threw things, did the opposite of what you said, and cried almost non-stop. Everything we had done to make him feel included and loved was all for nothing, because the abused sleep schedule, the being away from home for a week and a half (a night home had resulted in a very relived and tiny quivering voice asking for Farmer Jed (Fisher Price music CD) who he hadn't seen or heard in what must have felt like an eternity), and whose Mother had all but disappeared into a boring hospital room had wreaked him.
Even our belated Christmas celebration with Walter's Dad, Leo, had Leo sitting on the couch in an exhausted slouch with his mouth partially hanging open while watching the dobleganger that was our Padon.

I understood why he was acting the way he was but I was exhausted from my feed-the-baby-every-two-hours schedule and Padon's terror quest wasn't showing any sign of lightening up. I could now completely understand why you read in the news about children being shaken into brain damage, and why infants were found dead due to some trama. I was clicks away from sending an email to all family and friends that were within a 100mile radius to come pick Padon up and take him away, at least for a day, except I knew that him not being at home was the reason we were in the disaster we were in. I had never had anything bad to say about Padon until that point, and always made a point to not do so, but there was nothing left of the sweet boy we knew two weeks prior and it broke my heart how ugly I felt about him.
We were all miserable, and I am so glad that in all of it, he still loved Sophia, wanted to hold her, and wanted to kiss her. There were few times in Walter and my relationship where we felt our emotions had been pulled to the max and the two weeks after Sophia was born totally gets marked on the list. The last time we had felt this bad was four years ago when we thought we had lost the chance to buy our house, we were stuck renting one bedroom from a friend of a friend, and were living in it with a dog who ate Walter's Search and Rescue backpack and a pound of chocolate, and three ferrets.

Thankfully, after the two weeks we could see a little of the Padon we loved coming back and he was once again more affectionate. It was amazing the difference we saw in him. People later asked me why we didn't wait longer to have Sophia, and at the time it was very apparent that for Padon's health and ours there was no way we could have waited. I think to myself, what an ackward way for Sophia to become a part of our family, but I supposed that is what stories are made up of.

These images were an attempt to get one picture. It was a great example as to the emotional rollercoaster that Padon was going through too.

Jaundice, Again!

I had really wanted to have a full term baby this birth partly because I wanted to try to skirt around my baby having jaundice. It was a lot of stress with Padon and I just was hoping not to do it again. But when Sophia was born 4 weeks early it was kind of an assumption that she would probably have jaundice too. And she did, *sigh*. I think they noted it in the hospital, even though I couldn't tell; she just looked warm in color to me.

Walter and I made our post-pardum appointment for two days after leaving the hospital and regretfully made our way to the dreaded Women's Clinic linked with Overlake Hospital. It was so stressful and unsupportive the last time we had been there that before the Jaundice diagnosis we had talked about totally skipping the appointment. But surprisingly this time the lactation consultant that we met with was not only supportive but down to earth. She didn't overly criticize Sophia's latch (actually told us we were doing fine and didn't discuss it further) and had a very frank but helpful conversation with me about post-pardom depression, anxiety, anxiety attacks and how to deal with them, and what my goals should be with a new born over the next 6 weeks (those goals being, have no goals, just go with the flow).

We, again, were sent, exhausted, with a grumpy Padon, back to Overlake Hospital to retest Sophia's bilirubin (thank goodness we remembered to make our appointment much earlier in the day this time) where they pricked her already very pricked heel (Padon talked about Pia's pricked heal for weeks after she was born; her heals were that bruised from the number of times that blood had to be drawn), and informed us they would not tell us the results of the test but would call our Pediatrician (46 miles away). We decided to stay in Bellevue for the next few hours, purchasing some much needed baby items, having dinner, and waiting for the Pediatrician on call to give us a call back. We were not going to drive to Arlington to find that Sophia's test results were too high and that we needed to come back down to Overlake to be admitted. 5 hours later we contacted the doctor to learn that Sophia's results were a little high but not enough to admit her and that we needed to come into the doctor's office on Tuesday, three days later due to the New Years holiday, and the next business day when the doctor's office was open. This in itself was stressful, as Sophia had already lost almost her full allotted 10% weight loss (down to 5lbs), and like a true jaundiced baby was hard to keep awake for feeding. When this happened with Padon he had lost 16% of his body weight and the doctors made us feel alarmed. I didn't want to go through that again. The lactation consultant confirmed that Sophia was eating well but still set us up with a syringe to give supplemental feedings to what breast milk I pumped and we went home.

Using the syringe was awesome because we could really pack Sophia full of food; because who doesn't want to swallow when someone squirts liquid into the back of your mouth. Easily we were getting 3 ounces into her. I had been a little concerned that we might break what nursing progress I had established if we just put a ton of liquid into her mouth, making drinking easy, and so I fed the tube into a pacifier (mostly because holding the tube on my finger as instructed and trying to get Sophia to suck at the same time, while suppressing the syringe made my wrist feel like it was going to break) and then semi forcible put it in Sophia's mouth, only squeezing the syringe as she sucked on the pacifier.

On Tuesday she had gained back two ounces and the jaundice had improved although just a little. A week later she had gained back almost her birth weight and she was looking really good.

I really couldn't believe we were reliving this experience. Not the syringe which was a new one for us, but the stripping the baby down every time we went to feed her, playing with her ears and feet, flapping her exposed arm like a chicken, kissing on her face (oh well I would have done that regardless) and overall abusing the peacefulness that was being a sleepy infant.

I think I did feel a little bitter that we had to play the Jaundice game again but at the same time is seemed very reasonable that a 4 week premature baby might have an under developed liver, especially when her 2 week premature brother did.

Introducing the Beautiful Sophia Nanci Warren - In the Flesh!

December 30th two nurses arrived in my hospital room bright and early at 7:30am to introduce themselves and ask me "So are you ready to do this; are you ready to be induced?" I told them not at 7:30 in the morning but considering I hadn't been able to sleep since 5am, sure! Dr. Graham came in broke my water and we committed ourselves to meeting Sophia. The nurses moved me from my temporary Recovery room home and back into a Delivery room and funny enough it seemed every single nurse that had waited on me over the past two weeks was at the nurses station wide eyed and wanting to confirm that today was really the day?! They were all so sweet and I gave them a beauty queen wave as I walked past the long desk to my new room.

Walter and I were really excited that we were going to meet Sophia soon and opted to walk the hospital floor in an attempt to get the contractions moving and bypass any need for Pitocin which I had requested, in my birth plan, not to have this time. Over the past week I had decided I didn't want anything more to go wrong with this pregnancy, if I could help it, and that I thought I wanted to have Sophia natural. In an attempt to prepare myself I watched every natural birthing video I could get my hands on, on YouTube.com and made note to myself the similarities between the women's experiences. Thinking, humm...when did they all seem to experience the most pain, how did they and were they instructed to power through it, how soon did the baby come, and what position seemed to be favored the most. Walter was nervous for me but with a worked out thumbs up, thumbs down system supported me in what ever I wanted to do.

We started walking the donut loop around the birthing center and were stopped three times in our 1hr 1/2 excursion to check the baby's heart rate and check my blood pressure. It surprised us all, even though we all knew I was already at 4 cm and fully effaced, how fast I transitioned through the contractions and how quickly they were one on top of another. One of the nurses kept asking me what my level of pain was and later told me that she thought I had a very high pain threshold. But when she would ask me what my pain level was I would think, well, if my leg were being sawed off I'm sure it would hurt a lot more and this is still doable, and so I kept answering somewhere between 5 and 7 (10 of course being the worst). I did get a mental clarification why all the websites emphasised it wasn't natural to have a baby flat on your back as the nurses asked me to lie on my side so they could monitor the baby, again, and the pain level shot way up. It truly was night and day in comparison. I totally understand why some women squat or stand while having a baby and had my doctor been there and I weren't in a U.S. hospital I would have totally pushed for leaning over the bed and having Sophia standing up. It truely was a lot more comfortable standing.
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Another reason I didn't push harder for what I wanted was because things were just moving really fast and there really wasn't enough time to ponder how much I really cared about the immediate personal question at hand. Until of course I needed to push and they told me to wait. The nonstop, holy cow, ouch, contraction I was having was numbing my senses into why they were asking me not to push and like a good type A personality I was trying to perform at my best. I was also trying to grapple mentally with why they kept inclining the bed in gradual and not predictable increments as I was tightly clutched onto the handrail of my bed puffing through the contraction. I was trying not to push as I could feel Sophia move farther through my cervix, muscles pushing anyway, frustrated that they were asking me to do something that physically wasn't possible, and realized that they weren't inclining the bed, I was, with my forehead. With the contractions and forced self control I was pushing my head into the side of my bed which was pushing the buttons, uh! With a third request not to push, the nurses sounding a little more frantic, I said "It's not me! It's my body, I can't help it!" feeling a little panicked now and overwhelmed. The more veteran'ed of the two nurses said "okay, let's see what we have..." with a kind note of "I know you can't not push, but darn..." and she rolled me onto my back. And as she moved my knee out popped Sophia's head and in one more push her body.

Born in 13 minutes from when we stopped walking the hospital floor it was the doctor who had missed the show and the reason they didn't want me to push. We were waiting for Dr. Graham who was quickly, but not quick enough, coming from his Dr.'s office up the street. I'm still a little irritated about this. Not at Dr. Graham who I have a lot of respect for but for the insurance bureaucracy and sue happy degenerates in the United States who make it so that the doctor needs to be present in the event something goes wrong with the birth; as if there were no other capable people in the hospital to help. I am so grateful that my doctor was so down to earth, practical, and didn't push unnecessary medications and avenues of prevention on us as we waited in the hospital over the two weeks.

In the end we had a beautiful and completely healthy little girl. Born at 12:30pm, 6lbs even, and 18 inches long, Sophia was taken to the NICU to check her blood sugar, oxygen levels, and body temperature. I was totally impressed with Overlake Hospital a new because while they had wowed us with their service with Padon, this time round they brought me a wheel chair and gave me the option to go and see Sophia before her 6 hours was up in the NICU. I wasn't offered the ability to see Padon when he spent his 5 hours in the NICU, didn't even think to ask, and was sad that everyone got to see him before I did. There was no time limit on how long I could stay and everyone was so hospitable.

Replaying the whole experience in my head again and again I am still glad I did it natural. But I feel it important to note, as some women really advocate natural birth, that birth stories vary from pregnancy to pregnancy and person to person. Some people can't manage pain and others can manage it well. Some births have complications and others are just roaring to go. Sometimes you need pain medication and other times you don't. Having had an epidural with Padon I couldn't tell you if I would have been able to have him natural as well, but with Sophia it was very manageable. I kind of also need to note, having read all kinds of romatical things on the web from women who had natural births, the natural birth experience did not make my heart fonder of Sophia. I don't feel more bonded to her and I don't feel any less about Padon. I love them both equally. I got a stronger bond powering through colic with Padon. Maybe because he was hurting too and we both had to lean on each other to make it through a rough time. I think maybe too because he truly needed me emotionally where as birth feels to me to be a necessary and standard process and one that an infant doesn't rely on Mom's smell, voice, and warmth from beginning to end again and again night after night.