I want to say that Padon has a great grasp on the idea of money. He was motivated to be potty trained with pennies and nickles and, when shopping, seemed to understand that we couldn't get [the item] at the store because we didn't have enough pennies, and would complacently leave the store; no whining or pleading. When he reached about 4 1/2 we started introducing the idea of paid chores. We like this idea better then allowances. Padon had saved up quite a bit of money. $15 we found out one day after he tried to show me his crab bank and open the door of the bathroom at the same time. The crab bank ended up shattering on the floor and the money ended up counted and placed into a zip lock bag.
Along came Autumn War and we told Padon, if he wanted to, he could take $5 of his own money to spend as he would like at Merchants Row. He was super excited, but as we walked down Merchants Row seemed apprehensive to just spend his money (I so hope this is a life long skill). He finally found a flashlight that looked like a tiger and when you squeezed it, it roared. What 4 year old wouldn't think that was amazing. And I knew, from seeing them at the store that it was a $12-$15 flashlight. And at the "oh, you're a kid!" discount he got it for $3 and went home with $2 in his pocket.
When Banner War come along we said he could have another $5. Again he proudly went to Banner War with his money in his pouch. As Padon was walking into Merchants Row he passed a Bard playing a guitar and singing. At seeing that people were dropping money into his guitar case Padon really wanted to give him money too. I thought this was a nice thing to do and learn, and I said "If you give him money you are showing him that you are thankful for the lovely music he is playing but Padon, you don't have very much money. Only give him a little, he doesn't need a lot for you to show him you are grateful. I handed him 50 cents of his $5 - he really wanted to give the man a whole dollar, and as Padon gave the bard his 50 cents I made a point to tell the gentleman that it was Padon's money, that he really wanted to give him his money because he liked his music so much, and the man was so touched. Kitty-corner to the bard was a merchant that had wood swords, shields, stuffed, animals, and a number of shiny bobbles and kid attracting things. I always felt stand-offish about this merchant because I felt the toys were over priced and she had, a couple times, tried to sell me on a stuffed sword, with chew toy attached, for way more money then it cost to make or put it together. You don't sell another seamstress a crappy sewn toy. Of course her booth captured Padon's eye and it was his money. He was very taken with her plates of plastic jewels, iron pyrite, and necklaces. She also had a plastic pirate gun, much like the one above, but even more painted, and the handle was molded like a parrots face and beak. You could cock the hammer and when you pulled the trigger it snapped forward with a shooting sound. Padon was in love! The gun, was, however, $12. I didn't think he gun was worth $12 (I didn't learn until much later that the gun was a Disney Land Pirates of the Caribbean Gun that they no longer make and was indeed a rare find). I didn't tell Padon I didn't think the gun was worth $12, what I said was "Oh, well Padon you have $4.50, and that gun is a lot more than that." The vendor latched onto the fact that he didn't have the money for the gun and said to him, taking the gun out of his hands, "You have 5 dollars, I tell you what, you pick out three of those dragon tears (plastic jewels) and two pieces of gold (iron-pyrite), and one of those pirate necklaces (he had been eyeing them too). He happily followed her suggestions (his head and shoulders standing just above the table). I started to see where this was going, and was at a loss. I have to tell Padon a lot that he can't get things (and not because we don't have the money, because he would like A LOT of things everywhere we go shopping), and this time I told him he had his own money to spend as he liked. If I told him he couldn't buy anything then I would be "that Mom". He wouldn't understand why I wasn't giving him the respect to make his own choice (even though he was only 4) and I would have been the ultimate kill joy. I was totally pulled between my want to let Padon have this moment of spending his "own" money and being his Mother. By then the gal had pulled out a red fleece pouch with a leather bit hanging off the side, put Padon's new finds in it, tied it up for him and said, "okay, now give me $4" and as he did, she handed him the pouch and said "and this is yours." It was one of those slow but too fast processes. He took it just happy, not satisfyingly happy, and said "now I want to get the gun!" She said "Oh, but you can't. You don't have any more money and I don't want the batteries to go dead." If you could have seen his face drop. Feeling a renewed dislike of this SCA charlatan I got down on Padon's level and said come on Padon, you got some really cool things. I guided him out of her tent and then got down on his level again, a little farther out of her ear shot. I said "Padon, I'm really sorry you weren't able to get the gun today. It was a really cool gun but it was lot of money and while you did get some really cool things I think that she went about it in the wrong way. She shouldn't have had you buy something without giving you a chance to think about it. I tell you what, let's go show Daddy your treasure. I think he will think it is amazing, because you really did get some cool stuff!" Feeling a little better about what he spent his money on and wanting to show Walter, I could feel the tears in my eyes, and still do while I write this post. How dare that woman just take a 4 year old's money! She didn't know that he already had a developed sense and value of money but she has such a distant sense of customer service. She treats you like a dollar sign and a number. I managed to catch Walter before Padon did, told him the whole story, and with Walter's heart hurting for Padon as much as mine, he got down on Padon's level and perfectly ooooo'd and awwwww'd over Padon's purchase. He helped Padon put on his necklace, tie on his new treasure pouch, and applauded him on such a fine purchase. Padon bounced off to the playground with renewed confidence, and with Padon out of ear shot I made sure that Medelstead knew what the vendor had done to Padon. They too were surprised and disgusted. I hoped that this would pass on to others and hurt her business a little. Children's toys aren't all about getting money out of the parents.
Still not wanting, though, to loose the value of saving for something you would like, Walter and I impressed upon Padon that if he saved his money, he could save enough to buy the gun next time he saw her. He was very excited to do so and we introduced the chore of taking out the garbage with Walter for $1 a week. I look forward to Padon being able to walk into her booth and to buy the gun. It will definitely give him the opportunity to decide whether he really wants it or not. Oh, being a Mom is hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment