Would You Like Some Dinner? Don't Tell Me No; I Was Being Polite! Sit Down!

I remember my Mom doing this: "Would you like some dinner? Don’t tell me no, I was being polite! Sit Down!" And she did variations of this on many things. Finally I got old enough to articulate a response that wouldn't result in a smack in my face and it went along the lines of "why do you keep asking my opinion if there is no choice in the matter?” I think, stunned, she realized I had a valid point, and going forward tried really hard to not ask me to do things that she just wanted me to do. And until this point it seemed a Mom quirk and I didn't understand her initial logic.

Walter and I have finally had the "Ohhhhhhh..." moment. It's because in adult society and in adult culture when you talk with people you preface your statements in a question, maybe to imply they have a choice and therefore you are acting considerate and as if you care about their feelings. An awful explanation of what I’m trying to say, but think of the times that people have said to you "won't you take a seat?" So as we talk to our kids we say things like "do you wanna sit down for dinner?", when we really mean "Get in your chair!", or "Do you wanna take your vitamin, drink your water, put on your jacket, etc." And they hear "Do you wanna sit down for dinner?" and in Padon's case respond, "No, all done with the dinner." What do you say to that? I mean, you asked...

So Walter and I are having to relearn how to speak. "It's dinner time, please sit down in your chair., Here's your vitamin, take it now please., Here's your jacket, put it on please." It's surprising how hard it is to change to this manner of speech or how fast the "do you wanna..." slips out before you can catch yourself. Even saying things like "lets go brush your teeth" with a three year old is needing to be prefaced with It's time to brush your teeth, let's go brush your teeth.

I have had so many ah-ha! moments this year as Padon has grown older. It has definitely taught me never to judge anyone and that no matter how hard I try to imagine what it might be like walking in someone else’s shoes I will never really know until I put them on and buckle them down.