Because I Have To!

Oh ma gawd! We have reached the stage where those other parents were! Those parents in the elevator that whistled through their teeth at the thought of new babies and toddlers. The ones that made tisk-tisk faces when they heard Padon was two and three years old. Only I didn't understand because my two year old was awesome! My three year old, through 2/3rds of the year, was stellar and I didn't get it. I was also patting myself on the back for having obviously birthed myself some awesome kids and for having such a wonderful family. Well we're there. We are now the parents ignoring their kids in the store when they are going "mommy, mommy, mommy..." Those parents that make you wonder why the mom doesn't reply back and think to yourself how you would handle the situation better were you in that mom's shoes.

I am the mother, now, that says "don't pick that up, put that down, that's yucky, don't put that in your mouth, do you hear my words?, are your ears broken?" I'm the screamer and sometimes hitter, and I wonder where I lost myself. Well I do know; but I had thought until now that I was better then that, that it wouldn't happen to me. You'd think after 4 years of parenting I might have caught on to how silly that thought was.


The days of cute, photogenic poses are gone. The days of complete devotion to me are gone, and have been replaced with a willfull, contrary, bossy, tattling, and independent individual. Don't get me wrong. I am glad to see Padon voice his opinion and to show what his likes and dislikes are but what kills me is the act of being contrary to just be contrary; to fight me on putting on his pajamas just to see how far he can take it and if the rules still apply. This is often harder and longer lasting for me because Padon gets more continual reinforcement with Walter then he does with me.

Instead of the toddler that just said "no, no!!" he now makes up excuses about why he shouldn't, or sometimes should, do something. With my latest horrendous sun burn, he now uses that as an example, saying that his legs will hurt too much if he has to walk alongside the stroller, instead insisting that he must be crammed in the one toddler size SUV stroller with Sophia. He says that his stomach hurts at night in an attempt to not go to bed and has recently even been able to make himself cry. I

My latest bain is the "Because I have to!" phrase. "Padon you can't go with me to Claudia's yarn shop because you will be bored to tears and not let me get anything done." (Ok, not literally in those words) "But I have tooooooooo!!!!!!" says Padon with a painful whine. He supposedly has to jump on the bed, play with Sophia's toys, or wear the dirty pj's at the bottom of the laundry hamper too. It has also been very difficult for me to adjust to the barage of questions to which he interrupts your answer to ask another question. When I get super frustrated and tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore, because if he really wanted to talk he would let me talk back, he gets kind of quiet and says "but I still like you."

This is all an amazing transition for me. I have realized a lot of my frustration really stems from my long commute and from being over tired during the week. It is really hard to give undivided attention and patience to someone, when you have just gotten home, someone is already crying, and you have just sat down on the toilet. It's just fabulous to have an audience for that and then be told that your bottom is big. Privacy please! At least he does still give me big hugs, lovely kisses, and tells me he "so loves" me. It helps recharge that love battery.