Now That's What I'm Tak'n About!

You know when you dream of things and hope they happen? This is what I dreamed about when I made the rock pillows. They have been slept on in Padon's room, and been a good place to flounce, but this is the first that I have seen of them being dragged out to form a glorious pile for some good, hard, and safe rough housing. Awe, tear...

We Miss You Drake

So our very loving, fat, Garfield of a cat, Drake, has gone missing. And after a couple days of calling him, and a couple weeks of no sign of him it is pretty clear that Drake isn't coming home.

Sadly, Padon had commented a few times about how much he loved Drake and that Drake was his best friend. I don't know how the conversation occurred but Walter explained to Padon that Drake wasn't coming home and had probably been killed/eaten by Coyotes in the neighborhood. Most likely true, if not a raccoon, but I was surprised that Walter had gone to so much detail to say Drake had been killed and eaten. It was one of the first things out of Padon's mouth when I came home and again the next day, but now included gorey details (all Padon's imagination) about how Drake had been eaten. I worried about how much thought Padon was giving it and it was obvious that he was still hopeful that Drake may still come home.

I tried to talk to Padon about it, trying to calm his nerves about rampant cat eating coyotes and then Padon popped up with, "Mommy, you didn't like Drake." I blanched inside. Well yeah, I didn't like him, but he peed in my kids rooms, peed and pooped on Padon's rock pillows (that must be washed at a laundry mat), and scratched my furniture. He also ate huge portions of food keeping, our other cat, Romeo from being able to eat a proper portion, and would show his dormancy over that old cat by throwing and pinning him to the ground. While I noticed that Drake did bring home rats and mice, I didn't feel he was pulling his weight in our household (the whole reason we have a cat to begin with is to keep down on rodents), and I found him very inconvenient. It often made me feel better to let him out the back door (after he had just come in and was already meowing to get let back out) and say "Go out and get eaten!" To Padon I just said, slightly exacerbated "well no, I didn't like him because he peed and pooped in your rock pillows! But Padon, I would never wish him to get eaten by Coyotes!" It has come up at least 4 times that I don't like Drake. I don't know what goes through Padon's mind when he reminds me of that and I always reiterate that I didn't want him to get eaten by Coyotes, I just wanted him to be a better cat.

On the 4th mention of Drake and that he wasn't going to come back I brought Padon to the computer and showed him pictures of gravestones. I said "Padon, when someone dies it is really hard to not have something to remember them with. A lot of people put up a stone or something memorable to mark where that person died or just to remember them. I think we should find a special marker for Drake and you can choose where we should put it to remember Drake. Padon was excited for this prospect, and I think Walter almost as much. Honestly Walter loved Drake too. It was irritating how Drake came and went but Walter and Drake would snuggle and Walter would give him a lot of affection and attention. I had been thinking of a rock as something to paint, decorate, and commemorate Drake, but as Walter and Padon walked around the yard, looking for a paver, or rock, they came across this short piece of log and Padon said that was the item to paint.

Walter carried it back to the deck and Padon chose the spot on the deck to place it and I went inside and grabbed by Acrylic paints and brushes.

Armed with layers of newspaper, Padon and Walter got down to decorating the log.
Padon did a lot of painting with purple, red, and blue and was very satisfied with the work he had done on the top of the log.

He put a hand print on the side and a few brush strokes, but with Walter's painting of Drake's name they both felt it was complete.

I'm not sure that Padon has gone out to look at it again since; it kind of gets lost on the corner of the deck. I tried to mention that it was an object to go and look at, if Padon wished he could see Drake, or wanted to talk to him. I think the process of making it was a little helpful. The idea of Drake still comes up but not as frequently. I think what was so tough about Drake not coming home, was that he was the first thing in Padon's life that has passed away or never come back. A lot has happened over the last 6 months. It's too bad that death happened too, and a brutal example of death too, not just an old and passed away death.

Back to Being a Baby

Padon was doing really well at being potty trained before he went to Josephine but then gradually over a couple months he started peeing in his pants again. Walter and I were concerned and even more so when Padon started pooping in his pants too. Waiting to pee until the last second and not making it to the bathroom is one thing, but pooping takes effort and devotion and this was not okay.

Walter and I tried to shame Padon, tried making him wash out his own under wear, and make him change his own pants, sometimes making him sit in the mess for a while. We tried to guilt trip him with how only babies went in their pants and while Padon would say, semi shocked, "I'm not a baby!" he would still pee in his pants, or catch me as I walked in the door, home from work, "Mommy I peed in my pants today!"

Finally pooping in his pants in the morning and the afternoon broke the camel's back. Walter told Padon if he wanted to be a baby he could be a baby and that the whole next day he would get to remember what it was like to be a baby again. Funny enough, Walter had to leave that day to help Jane and Jason move and so that left Sophia, Padon, and myself to do a flashback in time by ourselves. Padon was surprised to find that being a baby meant that he either had to sit in Sophia's highchair or in the chair with arms, because babies fall out without support, that he had to wear a bib, wear a diaper, couldn't sit on the couch because babies fall off, eat baby food and nothing that he might choke on, and only play with baby appropriate toys.

Half way through the day he was saying he didn't want to be a baby anymore. I clarified that he was in this for the long haul and after he said he wouldn't pee in his pants anymore I asked him if he knew what a liar was. I said "Padon I have blue eyes, if I were to tell you I have brown eyes, I'm lying to you, because I don't. If I tell you I have a present for you, I'm lying because I don't have any presents, that's just mean. So when you tell me that you won't pee in your pants and then you do it anyway, that makes you a liar." He looked at me shocked and said "I don't want to be a liar!" I said "I don't want you to either but you have already told me once before that you wouldn't pee in your pants and you did it again anyway, AND you pooped in your pants. I don't think I can believe you." He said, "But I wont..." And I said, "Well you still have to be a baby today, we're doing this until bedtime."

This transitioned to nap time, which was being followed by Pia's schedule. Sophia takes a long 4 hour nap and Padon simply resolved himself to the nap as well. And when he woke up after 2 hours, didn't fight me when I told him I understood he wasn't tired anymore, but because babies take long naps he needed to stay in his room until Sophia woke up. Defeated he went back to his room but again didn't fight me. It seemed the plan might be working.

We continued on the day as if I had two Sophias and Padon was positive he didn't want to be a baby again. That was Saturday. On Monday I came home and Padon said happily and smugly, right as I walked through the door "I peed in my pants today!" I just dropped my shoulders and said defeated as he followed me into my bedroom "Padon, get out of my room. Just get out of my room." and I closed the door after him, to get changed out of my work clothes, and be by myself with my disappointment. Walter and I were at our wits end. This needed to stop but we didn't know if Padon was doing it to be a pain, because he now had to go to school, or because of Walter's attention to his PTST?

I spoke to a therapist about it and she applauded me on my effort but said she thought I had given Padon way too much attention. That the trick was to give him as little attention as possible in regard to peeing in his pants, and to instead praise him profusely for the good things he was doing. He had become so contrary that she was right. We weren't really praising him anymore. We were praising Sophia for her accomplishments and scolding Padon when he got in her way. With the therapists recommendations we turned ourselves around and when Padon peed in his pants we said blandly "oh, well, so did you change your pants?" but when he told us how he went to the park we jumped all over it saying how awesome that was and how great it must be to be a big boy. When he interrupted Sophia to answer where her ears were, we responded "Wow, you are so smart! You know where all your body parts are! Do you think you could help Sophia learn where her body parts are?!" And the therapist was right. In three days there was no more peeing and pooping in his pants. He was starved for personal appraisal and had turned to going in his pants for attention. So sad! I have to say, though, it is really hard to be a cheerleader when you are really tired or at the end of your day. These are the tasks we commit ourselves to, however, when we choose to be parents. Only 18 years and then so much of it is over. 18 years is nothing!

July Coronation 2011

The whole Medlestead household hadn't really been playing in the SCA this summer/ year and Dan and Lara thought it would be great if we could all get together for July Coronation. We said we would go but because of Sophia's age would rather day trip it then camp; and thank goodness. It ended up being a sunny day but the field that the event was being held at was super wet, cars were getting stuck, it was mucky, muggy, and sprinkling off and on, and the site fee was expensive.

Padon had been apprehensive, as usual, about wearing his garb (it seems every time we go he needs new garb) and I was able to ploy him with how this came with the opportunity to wear his very own cup! When he was born my Aunt Janet had given him a pewter cup with his name engraved on the side and explicitly stated that this cup was to be used and not stashed away in a curio cabinet. Well it got stashed with the idea he could start using it at 3 and was remember at 4.
Dressed like Daddy with a belt, belt pouch, and belt favors he was feeling a little more confident, and even more so outfitted with his turtle back pack. Which people thought was the definition of cuteness.
Sophia also needed new clothes, not having gone to an SCA event since she was 7 months old, and I impressed myself in making her a Norse style under dress from a toddler t-shirt pattern, and a pair of pantaloons from a pattern I drafted from a pair of her well fitting pants. Edged with an embroidery stitch on my sewing machine she looked so cute, seemed comfortable enough, that she didn't fight me in putting on her garb or ask to have it taken off.
Walter and I wore our standard garb and fit in with the rest of the crowd of devoted SCAers.

A special aspect to this day was that Padon had money to burn. Tragically his "crabby bank" had broken in an attempt to show me how heavy his bank had gotten while opening the bathroom door at the same time, but this opportunity had allowed us to count out how much money Padon had saved since he had been 9 months old and he had a grand total of $15! We gave him $5 and told him he could spend it on what ever he would like at the "fair" and that he could carry his money in his belt pouch. When we got a chance to paroose down merchants row the only tent that peaked Padon's interest was a vendor that often is at events and runs her tent like a garage sale. I found myself pushing Padon to choose something and realized that wasn't the lesson I was trying to teach and backed off telling him if he didn't see anything he would like, that, that was OK; he didn't have to buy anything today. That was when he found a tiger flashlight that growled when you squeezed the handle to open the mouth and shine the light.Typically $12-$15 brand new at the store the gal was selling it for $5. Rock on! I asked Padon if he was sure that was what he wanted to buy and he said yes, I said "OK, give her your money." He struggled to get out his Ziploc bag of $3 in change and his two dollar bills from his belt pouch and at seeing what was really going on the gal said "there is $3 in here?" wiggling the Ziploc bag. I said "yes", and she said "Ok" and handed Padon back his two dollar bills and said to me "I never make children pay full price." Wowed and tickled that Padon got to pick out something special and still walk away with some money I thanked her profusely and we made our way back to the wagon I had been pulling the kids around in.

Outside this particular tent is always a basket of free things for "good children" and Padon was given a tiny puppy beanie baby(which we sadly lost on our way back to find Walter) and Sophia got an empty, yet clean, bear shaped honey bottle. Because this vendor was always so cool about this basket, we had made a point to bring her some handmade bracelets, that we had put together, to add to this basket of goodies. It seemed we were the only ones to have ever done this before and she seemed touched at the gesture. Both kids were super pleased with their new found treasures and the soggy day was looking good.

We spent a lot of time hanging out under the awning of our friend Octavia's tent and
after a comforting walk around the site in my arms Sophia finally fell asleep for a nap and I found a new awesome use for the wagon.

It was a good time and I'm glad we didn't camp. Padon really enjoyed watching the fighters and fantasizing about being one, and Walter and I tried to be interested in who was being crowned this year. Next year maybe it will be different. We still like the SCA and seeing our friends but the thrill of camping and living like we were in the 13th century has dwindled quite a bit. There has been just too much going on in the mundane world. Maybe that's a sign...I'm not sure of what though...and whether it is good or bad.

Sweeties!

Saved by a Pencil

I realized that in order to stay on top of my game, within my working position, not only did I constantly need to keep reading relevant materials, but I really needed to keep on top of how industries around me were looking for marketers / graphic designers, and what they considered accomplishments. I found a company called Prolango Consulting Inc that offered regular networking opportunities, as well as free seminars, and noted that they didn't approve of passing around resumes; as that wasn't what the events were for. I realized quickly then I would need non-PACCAR business cards.

I spent probably 4 hours designing a business card, and then another hour trying to get the print-your-self-business-card template to print properly, and then I was on my way. I was really proud of my card and spent another hour and half printing the cards out, using lots of green and blue ink. Roughly 100 cards later, 70 were usable because of how they had printed through the printer, and I spent another 30 minutes cutting off parts that over lapped but weren't a deal breaker; that was when Padon woke up.

He had been in bed for the night but woke up wanting something to drink and he stopped to ask me what I was doing. I excitedly told him I was making business cards, and why, and pointed out my logo and read to him what the card said. I got through about a third of it when I realized I had forgotten my name. My stomach sank, flopped and I looked at all the waste around me. I said "Oh my God, Padon! I forgot my name! I can't believe I forgot my name! These are all garbage... I can't give people my card when they won't know who to contact back! I can't believe I forgot my name!" Padon was so sweet and said "Oooohhhhh! Well I'll get a pencil for you. I'll get a pencil for you Mommy! I'll get a pencil and you can write your name!" He then went over to the counter, climbing up on the chair to get a pencil from the cup, and brought it back saying, "Here you go mommy, you can write your name, write your name Mommy." And then he waited patiently for me to do it. Touched I took one of the nicer cards and wrote my name on the card about where it should have been. He was pleased that now everything was okay and I gave him a big hug. Saved by a pencil. If only things could be that simple.

In the end I printed, through Vista Print, 500 cards for $26 (on a screaming good deal) and now am handing those out. But I couldn't forget the wonderful goodness and sweet suggestion Padon gave me. Sometimes things seem such a big deal when really it just comes down to needing a pencil. I love my Bean!

Angry ABCs

Always too funny; some where along our growing line of family traditions and idiosyncrasies Angry ABCs was invented. I think Walter started it but it runs along the lines of singing ABCs but as if you were a very heavy metal rock concert singer. This often necessitates forming your hand in the sign of the devil, which in our world means "rock on", and then singing ABCs really hard. I have two video's of this now, which when I finally figure out how, should post, and it's just crazy hysterical. Padon does it, Walter does it, and obviously from the picture above, I do it, and finally if you ask Pia to do it she growls and then smiles. We are such an awesome family!

Sophia's 1st half Birthday

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When Walter and I expressed our concern that Sophia's birthday would get forgotten at the end of December, caught so closely between Christmas and New Years, we had friends and our Doctor talk to us about how they celebrated or knew of people who celebrated their half birthday. It sounded like a great idea to me, although I still wanted to celebrate Sophia's birthday on or close to her birthday. When her 1st Birthday did come it was hard to get people together on a day near her birthday and after Christmas. We were able to have a little and great party on her birthday, at the Seattle Center with Jane and Jason and Leo, but I had decided, half birthday it was!

That worked out to be July 4th! Perfect! Here was a holiday that we all got together for anyway, and summer birthday's had a better chance of being sunny, people liked to get together, and on the 4th we met at my parents house where we could swim and it was a prime place for a festive party.

Walter and I decided a Luau theme would be great and we bought plastic leis, plastic Tiki cups (Padon picked out the colors) rub on tattoos, and squirt guns as favors; bought a little grass skirt for Sophia (too flipp'n cute), tiny umbrellas for the drinks, and a multi-colored palm tree garland for decoration. We used the purple table cloth from Padon's 1st Birthday and brought our slip'n'slide down for some extra added water fun. Our friend Jen came with her little girl Mia and the kids ran around, Sophia in her adorable ladybug swimsuit, and had a blast playing in the water and on the trampoline. Sophia was so funny because she had to play with and put her blankets (a.k.a Baby and tiny Baby) in the water; like she was showing them the fun. But it wasn't long before big baby was completely saturated and was too heavy for Sophia to pick up which aggravated her. It must have taken us two hours to sneak it away from her, however, to wring it out and throw it in the dryer. It was too funny.

My Dad made the most delicious beer marinated ribs, something that I had wanted to have in place of a roasted luau pig, and my Mom had been so awesome in going shopping with me for the other items like chips, and fruit and vegetable platters for the party. We ended the party with presents and cupcakes, just in time for Sophia to begin a fast downward spiral towards pajamas and bed time. She had a really great time and it was a perfect 1st birthday.

At 18 months old she was walking and running, able to open her presents, and show us which present was the one to buy (in this case a dish and pretend food set that had her giggling manically in the store).

Going forward I think we will celebrate her birthday as a small Warren get together on December 30th and will have her party on the 4th of July (assuming no one else minds). This way Sophia will always have a special day she can share with her friends and still have a rock'n 21 run on New Years Eve.

My First Mother's Day Presents

Last Mother's Day was an emotional day for me. The day before Padon, Sophia, and I had gone to the Woodland Park Zoo for Mom and Me Day and had a good time but the actual Mother's Day was stressful due to bad traffic, trying to find lactose free ice cream, and family stress due to loud and rambunctious children at my parent's house. Walter wasn't there to help because he was helping with an SCA event and it was overall a very stressful day.

So this Mother's Day I surprised myself with my want of a special day just about me. It was seeming more and more like nothing was going to happen other then the get together I had preplanned with my Mom and sisters and I was feeling more and more disappointed. Until I came home on Friday to a potted purple flowering plant, a paper sunflower made up of yellow construction paper hand prints and a picture of Padon's smiling face, and a note that read " My love for you grows and grows" on the construction paper leaves. Padon was very excited to give me the present and said "smell it Mommy! It smells like candy!" and he was right! Next to it on the table was a magnetic framed picture of a smiling Pia that said "Happy Mother's Day! Love Sophia!" and had her tiny hand print stuck to it. I had to bite back the tears. I had been waiting for the day that my kids would make me Mother's Day presents and I LOVED them and it made my Mother's Day wonderful! I wouldn't have thought school made presents would come this soon but I loved them nonetheless and I love Josephine House for being so thoughtful as to make these things with my kids so they could help make my day that much more special. I'm going to save them forever!

Padon's 4th Birthday!

Again this year I was at a loss of what to do for Padon's birthday. The concept still wasn't quite there for him and when I would ask him what kind of party he would like he would give me an answer that would be about birthdays but not about what he wanted for his birthday. But finally, a month before his birthday, we were walking from the bathroom on the ferry, on the way to Leo's, and I asked again and Padon replied, "I want a Spiderman birthday party; Greg can have a Batman party but I want a Spiderman party!" I was stunned and the more I thought about it the more I got excited. I said "Oh Padon, I can do a Spiderman party! Let's go tell Daddy!"

It was great we had a month to plan because then we could really take the time to plan the activities. We decided to have the party at our house, crossing our fingers for sun and great weather, and we sent out the invites.

Both Walter and I worked hard on keeping the party items a surprise and that meant having to send Padon to school on his birthday. To my surprise he remembered that in our house you have Pancakes for breakfast on your birthday, something I wasn't prepared to make in time, and that he didn't want to go to school on his birthday, he wanted to go to the zoo. I desperately needed his birthday, two days before his party, to buy the last few items and assemble the party favors and games. We plied him with going by school with the promise we would pick him up early and we would go to Red Robin for dinner. He was pleased with that and off we went.

Walter and I bought mylar balloons from The Dollar Tree among other items and bought the remaining items needed from Party City, which was really fun, and went to pick Padon up. I brought the balloons to his classroom and wowed him with the beginning of his birthday celebration. He wanted to carry the balloons and we went to Red Robin. He got to have his requested burger and loved, albeit it shyly, the singing waiters and waitresses who sang Happy Birthday to him and brought him an ice cream sunday.

After we went over to Walmart and looked at bicycles, still with the balloons. Walter and I had talked about getting Padon a Bicycle and Walter said it was something a father and his son did together (this I did not know) but he still felt like he was having that moment with me there. Padon wasn't too impressed with the two wheeler Walter found in his size, though, and it was obvious if we got him one it would result in a lot of tears and we didn't want that. Instead Padon was doing laps around the aisles on a radio-flyer tricycle. He loved it! So much that Walter and I agreed this was the bicycle we needed to buy. Under the guise that Walter had to go to the bathroom and we would meet him at the car, Walter snuck away with the tricycle in a box, and we played just long enough for Walter to buy the tric and stash it in the trunk of the car.

I couldn't wait for Sunday! Finally the birthday party was here, the sun was out and the weather warm, and Padon was relieved and ecstatic. He had eagerly been checking the days to his party off on a calendar for about a month and when his party didn't happen on his birthday I could tell he was starting to believe it was never going to happen. Instead we had pancakes, let him open the tricycle which Walter assembled with him and I just about bear hugged Leo who came early to help watch the kids while we put the party together and I iced cupcakes. Friends and family arrived to a super hero cape assembling table (plastic table cloths cut into 3 foot wide sections with yarn strung through the top to hold them in place and a bunch of markers and stickers to decorate with, as well as super hero masks to also decorate), a hamburger and hot dog BBQ, a spider web game assembled in our living room (the kids each got a piece of yarn they had to follow and untangle through a web of toys and furniture to find a prize tied at the end), and a Spider tagging game (a spiderweb drawn on a really large piece of cardboard with large and too life like spiders stuck on it. The kids smacked them off with a sticky hand and when they knocked one off they got the spider and the spider's nest; a ball of Spiderman party favors and candy wrapped up in zebra stripped crape paper). We opened presents, had cupcakes, and the kids ran free in the yard. It was a very successful and fun party to plan and everyone had a really great time. I look forward to what Padon will want to do next year. I can't believe he is 4 already!